Abortion

I am very direct on this subject - so if you're a sensitive person, read with caution.  If you're offended by some of the things I have to say, keep in mind that I was a child who had a failed adoption and was overlooked for 10 years because I wasn't a baby and I was a child of color.

I am a strong advocate of a woman’s right to choose.   As someone who spent 10 years in the foster care system, I always wished my mother had had an abortion.  I don’t wish the foster care system on any child. 

Why not adoption?  Well, here’s the thing with adoption:  very few people truly want to adopt someone elses child.   More often than not, they only do it because they can’t have kids of their own.  It is literally a last resort option.  How is that a life to live knowing that you were someone’s last resort?  Furthermore, if a child doesn’t get adopted at birth, the chances for adoption drop significantly every day the child is alive.  Most people don't want an older child - they want a baby.  They don’t want a kid that is already past their cute baby stage. 

Another thing to note is that children of color have a harder time getting adopted.  So many white people want to adopt, but they don’t want to adopt a child that doesn’t fit in to their perfect family picture.  Therefore, often times children of color get overlooked.

I was up for adoption for many years.  The common reason they couldn’t find a family for me was because I was “too old” or “not white.”  People are picky about who they adopt and many perfectly good children are left to rot in the foster care system all the time.  Simply because nobody wants them.  I have worked with kids in the foster care system and I can assure you that these kids are perfectly fine if you give them a chance.  The system puts "red flags" on kids to help deter people away and ensure they stay in the system.  Similar to the tags they put on pets at the animal shelter.  Don't believe me?  I have the "ad" for when I was placed up for adoption.  One of the stipulations was that I "don't do well with other children."  Yet, I was in a foster home with several children.   How does that work?

Yes, I’m fully aware this all sounds harsh.  Especially to all the kind hearted souls who do adopt and also choose to adopt children of color.  But I was one of those kids who was overlooked and yes, I’m still bitter about it.  

So what is the return policy on foster children?  No problem, just bring them back if you get bored with them.  Very similar to what happens at the animal shelter.  The adoptive parents drop them off and never look back.  It happened to me and nearly all of my foster siblings who also went through adoptions.  So many adopt to be good people and don't take it seriously.  In many of their defenses though, many of these kids are messed up mentally after all that happened to them both before and after.  I almost feel like the system intentionally does this fully knowing that these adoptions won't work out which is why they have no problem taking them back.  $$$$

The last argument I will make is, who do you think pays for these kids who end up in the system?  How much do you think it costs to support these kids?  I can assure you it isn’t a measley child support check.  You are paying to put a roof over their head, their medical expenses, their mental health bills for all the trauma they are put through, the medications they use to drug these kids up, their toys, their school supplies, their school clothes, their activities they take part in.  You are also paying for their social workers, the judges, the foster parents/baby sitters, and anyone elses time.  Meanwhile, most parents can’t afford the care so they get out of paying.  Every single tax payer is paying child support right now whether they want to or not.  Already paying child support for your own kid?  Guess what - you're also paying for other kids too.   

Have you ever wondered why an entire party is against abortion?  I can understand and respect this from a religious perspective or someone who is genuinely concerned about the process.  But an entire political party?  Why do so many care what someone else does with THEIR body or THEIR child.  What other people do is none of your business.  You don't have to live with the implications, they do.  Furthermore, why is there always around 400,000 kids in foster care?  Why does this number stay fairly consistent?   The only reason I can see an entire party caring about this issue is because the more kids they can keep alive, the more money goes into their pocket.   If you look at the big picture, someone is cashing in.  

 

Personally, if my mother were to abort me, I would rather a professional do it than getting stabbed with a coat hanger.  If someone doesn't want a baby, they will do whatever they have to in order to try and get rid of it.  Drugs, alcohol, bad food, smoking, etc.  It would be in the child's best interest for a licensed professional to handle this and not a parent who truly doesn't want to be pregnant.  

Innocent babies and children are the pawns in these sick games.  It’s time to let women choose what is best for THEIR child.  They shouldn’t even have to let the father know if they seek an abortion.  In cases like this, they could be protecting the child from future abuse or trauma.  Maybe the mother does want to have the baby, but she doesn't want the baby to grow up in an abusive home.  Everyone has a different story and they should be able to do what is best for their situation.  

In the end, it wouldn’t be the worst case for the government to help with some of these abortions.  It comes down to a one-time payment or lifetime support for these kids.  Taxpayers can easily end up spending over a million on each of these kids throughout their lifetime.  You think the support stops when they’re 18?  Think again.  Most end up pregnant, in jail, their kids end up in the system, they go on welfare, and end up needing future support.  I wouldn’t support a 100% government funded abortion, but if someone doesn’t have a job or makes very little, they should be covered.   I think there should be a sliding fee scale to cover it and perhaps an “emergency fund” for extenuating circumstances.  

It is important for people to realize that they are hurting the child MUCH more than they are hurting the mother in these cases.   

I am VERY salty on this subject and I will do whatever I can to ensure women have access and can make the decision they feel is best for their child.  I apologize if anyone who reads this is offended, but it is the cold hard truth myself and many other children had to face.  If children have to face it, a grown ass adult can face it too.