Homelessness

I cant say that I have ever stayed in a shelter or lived on the streets.   I have done more couch surfing and living in hotels than I care to admit.  I have also slept in my car a number of times and I have always been too prideful to ask for help, even from family.   For me, I am more fearful of hearing the word, "NO," or getting some lame excuse.  I have learned it is easier to not even ask for help or find out what kind of answer I may get.  You don't have to worry about an answer if you never ask.   If offered, I may have accepted, but asking for anything only happens when I'm beyond desperate.  Rarely have I been beyond desperate.    I have always been on my own and I always seem to figure things out on my own.   

I struggled with homelessness a lot when I couldn't get mental health access.  It was hard to hold a job or even function on a day to day basis.  The worst struggle I had was when I went homeless during the recession.   I lost my unemployment because I disclosed that I was in school and that wasn't permitted while collecting unemployment.  Things were so bad that I had applied for food stamps at the time.  I did A LOT of couch surfing during this period and I occasionally slept in my car.   

In 2014, I finally got registered with my tribe.   Something that was supposedly done when I was in foster care, but it never was.  Just another lie that I was constantly fed.  Once registered, it gave me access to all sorts of desperately needed healthcare.   Since then, I haven't had issues anywhere near as bad as I did prior to having consistent healthcare.   I am my own support system and if I fail, I can only blame myself.   

I should also note that this is a common issue with Native Americans and former Foster Children.   I don't entirely feel like these things contributed to my situation, but that is probably because I blame myself.  They may be related, but I consider myself lucky compared to the things others have experienced.    ​